sometimes it goes like this

I've been in a weird shaky mood all day after waking up this morning from a very vivid and shaming dream partially about being dumped by my friends. I was literally shaking much of the day, my guts in a twist like saltwater taffy on a stick which made working on my book impossible, which made me feel even worse about myself. Only just now after forcing myself to at least write down the dream in detail (in hopes of getting it out of my system so I could start WRITING) and seeing that I'd called myself a nickname I never used for myself before did I realize the dream belonged to one of my characters; it was her life and her abandonment/shunning/shame I'd been seeing in my mind's eye -- and now here I sit crying her tears, reeling from her pain, not yet able to feel relieved that maybe I just found my book.